Its All About you

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T)

We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T on the course, please see your supervisor. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T list, and our supervisors are especially skilled at seeing you get
all the S. H. I. T. you can handle.

Employees who dont take their S. H. I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTALEMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T).

Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T).

Since our supervisors took S.H.I.T before they were promoted, they dont have to do S.H.I.T anymore,and are all full of S.H.I.T already. If you are full of S.H.I.T, you may be interested in a job teaching others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LIST of LEADERS (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T).

For employees who are intending to pursue a career in management and consulting, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T). This course emphasizes how to manage M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING,
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.S.H.I.T).

Thank you,

(B.I.G.S.H.I.T)

P.S. Now send this S.H.I.T to a few people who need S.H.I.T in their life, just not the same person who sent you this S.H.I.T They have already had their fill of S.H.I.T Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

The Director Under the Main Bureau of Super High Intensity Training.
(The D.U.M.B.S.H.I.T)."

John works in a supermarket. A man came in and asked John for half a kilogram of butter. The boy told him they only sold 1 kg packets of butter, but the man was persistent. The boy said he'd go ask his manager what to do. John walked into the back room and said, "There's a bloody fellow out there who wants to buy only half a kilo of butter." As he finished saying this he turned around to find the man standing right behind him, So he added, "And this gentleman wants to buy the other half."

The manager finished the deal and later said to John"You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of it. You think on your feet, and I like it a lot.

Which place are you from?" John replied, "I'm from Mexico, sir." "Oh really? Why did you leave Mexico?" asked the manager.
John replied, "They're all just prostitutes and soccer players up there." "My wife is from Mexico," the manager said.
John replied, "Which team did she play for?"

Three Dreams of a Man:-

1) To be as handsome as his mother thinks.
2) To be as rich as his child believes.
3) To have as many women as his wife suspects.